8.19.2009

Apologies

Hey all,
I wanted to apologize to everyone that cares about this thing dying down lately. I was at the beach for two weeks and then I was in the process of moving/starting law school. I'll try to do some more in the coming days or weeks, but I am not quite sure I will have a lot of time. In the mean time, all you have to do is check out Dave Barry's blog or go to the thehighdefinite.com. They have all the entertaining stories that I could ever find and post here. Thanks for reading...

Cheeze.

7.31.2009

Perhaps it's just me who loves these?

In anticipation of the upcoming Premier League campaign, here are last year's goals of the season.

7.30.2009

Another fowarded joke from my dad

Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference, coincidentally held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently passed gas.
The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the room and it reverberated down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again.

Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Levy and arrived under cover of darkness. The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?"

Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here and received my education here, but then I moved away."

"Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.

"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."

The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."

Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my incident."

"Was it a long time ago?"

"Yes, many years."

The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?"

Celebrity

As seen in August 08 Glamour magazine. Basically I'm an international playboy.

I’d also like to note that this quote was hardly what I said, verbatim. In fact, this is a mere bastardization of my actual statement, which was made at 11:00am on a rainy, hungover, Manhattan morning. What I said was much more clever and witty than this PG-13 version – I assure you.


7.24.2009

Quite a way to go if I say so myself

A RANDY sea lion named Mike died of exhaustion after a marathon mating session at a zoo.

The whiskery beast had been enjoying a morning romp with his harem Farah, Tiffy and Soda when keepers noticed something was wrong.

The dad of 12 was so exhausted that he could not even get out of his pool - and had to be pulled clear by staff.

Despite receiving treatment from a vet, the 45-stone "good natured" sea lion died from acute heart failure.

A spokesman for Nuremberg animal park in Germany said on Tuesday: "Mating season is a common time for fatalities when bulls often stop eating for days to devote themselves fully to mating.

"For sea lion bulls with a harem this is the most exhausting time."

California-born Mike was 19 - two years older than the average life expectancy.

The spokesman added: "He will be remembered fondly."

7.23.2009

What. A. Strike.

Another video? Sure. Especially when it's featuring brilliance like this.

This is easily one of the purest strikes I've ever seen. The lad just cannot hit it any better than he does here. From 35+ yards, easily - and the keeper is grounded.

Swears a lot, doesn't he?