Yes, please

The Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout





Love your stout? Then pick yourself up a pack of Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout ($10/six pack). Created to celebrate the 250th anniversary of Arthur Guinness' signing of the lease for his St. James' Gate Brewery in Dublin, this fizzier, maltier version of Guinness is poured at an angle, and packs a stronger alcoholic punch than its sudsy sibling. But don't wait too long: it will only be available for six months.

I'll take 8 dozen 6ers, please.

Buy here.

Jools Holland is a stupid name...

...but he sure gets good acts on his show. Here are few good ones.

Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) recorded live on Later with Jools Holland



Radiohead - Paranoid Android



Doves - Kingdom of Rust / Winter Hill

Cheeze's imagination is what makes him special

A tip of the cap to BennyMac for unveiling this never before seen footage of Cheeze at his very best.

Hey Nats, be worse.

They can't even spell their own names right? COME ON.


















COME ON reference:

What? That's not normal?

I have always thought Roger Clemens to be batshit crazy. This officially removes all doubt, however.

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One of the most memorable parts of the book that hasn't made it out yet is a bizarre story about Roger Clemens, and how he prepared for starts.

The story comes courtesy of Yankee trainer Steve Donahue who told Verducci about what Roger Clemens did as part of his usual routine to get ready for facing the Mets in Game 2 of the 2000 World Series. Donahue said Clemens’ usual pregame preparation included taking a whirlpool bath at the hottest temperature possible.

“He’d come out looking like a lobster,” Donahue said.

But here's the money quote:

Then Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on his testicles.

“He’d start snorting like a bull,” the trainer said. “That’s when he was ready to pitch.”

Man, talk about way too much information. That must be why Roger was such a crotchety bastard on the mound. Well, that and the steroids.

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Awesome. Link here.

Lunchtime!

"Seems a sheep farmer in Alton, Illinois was puzzled about the disappearance of some sheep on his farm. After a few weeks the farmer decided to put up an electric fence. About a week later, this is what he found."





























Goooooo. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change my underwear and convince coworkers in the office next door that a woman was not just weeping inconsolably.

Story of my life

Particularly the bit about Mike Tyson.

This will probably be equal parts stupid and hilarious.

Reno 911 is awesome.

Very old, but very funny.

Best. Week. Ever.

Arguably the best 7 day stretch of the sports year rolls on today, with another full slate of baseball games to help us forget about the lamest National Championship game ever that occurred last night.

But really, find me a better 7 days. It's impossible. Actually, make that 8 days.

From last Saturday until this coming Sunday, there was/will be: Final Four, MLB Opening Day, National Championship game, more baseball, Champions League Quarter Finals, even more Baseball, even more CL Quarters, baseball, and the Masters.

So we here at AU are happy because the Mariners and the O's are on pace for 162 wins, Junior Griffey is going to hit 162 bombs, and King Felix will win 28 games.

Nerds Unite!

Despite never having seen a Star Trek movie (I promise), and the flagrant stealing of the Dark Knight score, this trailer is fairly awesome.

If anyone came make this franchise less associated with living in your mom's basement, JJ Abrams can.

Well then

My word.

Beisbol been bery, bery good to me!

B Harris' stone-cold locks:

AL East - Like Cheeze said, this is without a doubt the strongest division in baseball. You almost feel for organization like the Jays and O's, who in years past had to contend with 2 thoroughbreds - now, it appears those cute little Rays are here and here for good. As for how they'll finish - you really can't find much between the top three: Rays get the nod for defense, Yanks for bats, and Sox for their arms. I like the Yanks here.

AL Central - Should be a two-horse race between the Twinks and the Tribe. Of course, no one gave the ChiSox the time of day last year, and everyone expected the Tigers to score 1,800 runs. Detroit has no healthy arms, (save Verlander), the Whitesox will have to rely entirely too much on an aging rotation (save Denks and Floyd, the latter of which can expect his numbers to rise significantly this year), and the Royals are for whatever reason, the sexy pick on the lot. A good rule of thumb is to ignore anything that comes out of John Kruk's mouth. Ditto Steve Philips. Actually, how about we just lump all of ESPN toegether. Read ESPN for game recaps - that's it. Their results-based analysis that focuses on things like "grit", "veteran leadership", etc. is awful. But that's a different rant. I like the Tribe.

AL West - Terrible division. You can make an argument for all four teams. Obviously, being the homer that I am, expect Felix to pitch the M's to an improbable West title. Man, that was easy.

NL East - I like the Mets here. They've shit the bed the past two years when they've clearly been the best team in that division. While signing "closers" to huge contracts is ridiculous, KRod and Putz is an awfully nice back-end.

NL Central - Cubbies. Too much pop, too much pitching. Easily the class of the NL.

NL West - Hmm, which team will be first to 80 wins? I say the Dodgers. Heinous division, though.

WS - Yankees over Cubs

AL MVP - Maybe this year, people will give this guy credit for being the best AL centerfielder - a role he has held for 2+ years now. Grady Sizemore.

NL MVP - Prince Albert. Best player on the planet.

AL Cy Young - I'm not going to pick Felix, that would be too easy. Doc Halladay - best pitcher that doesn't get nearly the credit he deserves.

NL Cy Young - I hope Lincecum. But I'm betting on Johan, because the stupid baseball writers are stupid.

AL ROY - Elvis Andrus

NL ROY - Colby Rasmus

Play ball.

P-A-R-T-Y

Bruno at his best.

Not so fast, females

In a move undoubtedly supported by Cheeze, an Israeli ultra-orthodox newspaper has Photoshopped out two members of the new cabinet. Because they are female. Awesome.



















In this combination of an originally transmitted image, top, and a digitally altered image that appeared in the Israeli ultra-orthodox newspaper Yated Neeman , show Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, center left, President Shimon Peres, center right, and members of Netanyahu's new government as they pose for an official photo at Peres' residence in Jerusalem Wednesday, April 1, 2009. In the bottom photo from the newspaper Yated Neeman,female cabinet ministers Limor Livnat, to the right of Netanyahu, and Sofa Landver , to the left of Netanyahu have been removed and replaced by Ariel Atias and Moshe Kachlon respectively.Two women serve in Israel's new Cabinet, but some Israelis would rather not see them. Newspapers aimed at ultra-Orthodox Jewish readers tampered with the inaugural photograph of the Cabinet, erasing ministers.

Bravo, Israel. Bravo.

Courtesy of KRod

Either stop cheating or wear Groucho glasses

Because if you do neither, you're likely to be caught.

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Cheating Husband Caught on Google Street View

A furious wife has called in divorce lawyers after spotting her husband’s car parked outside another woman’s house — on Google. She saw the Range Rover while using the internet giant’s new Street View service to snoop on a female friend’s home.

The hubby had claimed he was away on business, but his missus recognised his motor immediately because of its blinged-up hubcaps. The love cheat is not the only husband trapped by Google’s controversial new 360-degree photo search which covers 25 cities and towns throughout the country.

Top media lawyer Mark Stephens said: “I was talking about the Range Rover case when another divorce lawyer came up to say his firm was dealing with the same sort of thing. People are getting caught out on Google. “I suspect the husband’s lawyers will claim it was an invasion of privacy that will cost him his marriage and Range Rover.”

Street View has triggered a stream of complaints from people caught on camera since its launch on March 20. Google removed some images — including a man sheepishly leaving a sex shop. An office worker was also caught having a crafty cigarette by a No Smoking sign. And yesterday The Sun told how a fleet of UFOs was spotted on Street View hovering over an East London bookies.













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I suspect this is only the beginning. Of the end.

Applejacks! We eat what we like!

Good work, guys

You broke it.