Cheeky

Clever bits of skill, and the occasional unnecessary trickery. Either way, very cool stuff.

Tip o' the Cap

Here's to the Catalan Giants for the well-deserved victory yesterday over the Manc scum, United. They were the better side all year, and they proved it with a dominating display in Rome. It was also refreshing to see ESPN show some love to the sporting event that garners nearly double the sets of eyes that the Super Bowl does. Now if Liverpool would just win again, we would all be happy.

FC Barca - Champions of Europe.

I think a bottle of wine or 8 was consumed in Spain last evening.

A lacrosse game sans Hopkins/Duke/UVA?

It does exist! And what a dandy yesterday's Championship between Empire-state rivals Cornell and the Cuse turned out to be.

Premier League magic

Great compilation video for the recently ended 08/09 campaign.

United suck.

Holy Balls

I want one.



















The John Deere M-Gator A1 ($TBD) is a combat-proven military utility vehicle that you can now put to use in your backyard. Powered by an 854cc Tier II Yanmar diesel engine, the 6x4 A1 navigates the toughest terrain and features a keyless ignition, dual radiator cooling system, and ample cargo room (1650 lbs total payload capacity) in the front and back. Once only available to military organizations, now the A1 can be purchased by "first responders in search and rescue operations."

Surely joy-riding atop my neighbor's flowerbed qualifies.

Tune

For your Wednesday morning.

Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)

Suck it, Trebek

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Um, yes please

Guy Ritchie + RDJ + Jude Law (for the girls...and me...) = yes

Not Terrible at Piano

This is my buddy Dave. He writes songs and such for a living and is quite good at it. See for yourself, as he covers Dispatch's "The General".



Have a butcher's at his website and listen to his original stuff. Makes me wish I was still playing. It also makes me wish Cheeze didn't still live at home, but those are the breaks.

One sentence, Peter Travers-esque review of album: "Baron’s penchant for crafting grand, sweeping melodies inundated with finely-tuned hooks is matched only by the immense talent he displays whilst sitting behind a piano."

Hey, Brett Favre

I have an idea. Shut up and stay retired. No one gives a shit about your shoulder or meeting with the Vikes or anything.

Stick to filming Wrangler commercials - Chazz insists that your presence in their marketing campaign is allowing them to become more acceptable amongst commoners. At least, that's what he and his new pair of shorts wants to believe.

Cute

You wouldn't get away with this in the Premiership, but I like nonetheless.

See more funny videos and Sports Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Outstanding

More outrageous fake-cyber conversations. I love this so much.

------------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k

----------------------------

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

"That's nawt a spidah, THIS is a spidah"

Eff me in the b. Huge spiders on the prowl in the Australian Outback.

Australia is known around the world for its large and deadly creepy crawlies, but even locals have been shocked by the size of the giant venomous spiders that have invaded an Outback town in Queensland.

Scores of eastern tarantulas, which are known as “bird-eating spiders” and can grow larger than the palm of a man’s hand, have begun crawling out from gardens and venturing into public spaces in Bowen, a coastal town about 700 miles northwest of Brisbane.

Earlier this week locals spotted an Australian tarantula wandering towards a public garden in the centre of town where people often sit for lunch. They called in a pest controller, but not before using a can of insect spray to paralyse the spider.

Audy Geiszler, who runs Amalgamated Pest Control in Bowen, said that the spider was a large male with powerful long fangs and was so big that when he placed it – dead – in the palm of his hand its legs hung over his fingers.

I hate them I hate them I hate them. Full story here.

Jacked from the always amusing High Definite.

Unfortunately, this is not me

But a boy can dream.

Watch Mario 2 Drums and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

I was afraid to go down a set of 8 stairs on my bike

This guy apparently is not burdened by that fear.

Every Guy Ritchie film

Well done by Collegehumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Note to Self: avoid beer poing with this individual

Because he will shoot you until you are no longer living.











Now I know what you're thinking - "This gentleman appears to be perfectly sane and reasonable. It must be a case of mistaken identity." To which I would point to the following:

For an argument over plastic cups, a pingpong ball and warm beer, one Montgomery County man lost his life and another may spend the rest of his in prison.

Joseph B. Jimenez, 24, was charged with first-degree murder for allegedly fatally shooting his opponent, Scott Riley, 25, following a game of beer pong at a Bridgeport home Friday night.

Investigators said that they don't know what rule infractions sparked the fight during the drinking game, but Bridgeport Police Chief Zenny Martyniuk said that the men knew each other before the match and had no prior issues.

Jimenez and Riley, both of Bridgeport, were playing beer pong at a small gathering at a mutual friend's house on Second Street near Mill when witnesses saw them arguing over the game, police said. Several witnesses even told investigators that they believed that the men were play-wrestling or horsing around.

Jimenez allegedly told police that after the game, he left the house through the front door and Riley left with another man through the back door.

Once outside, according to one witness, Jimenez and Riley ran into each other in a pedestrian-only alleyway and began talking trash.

According to court documents, Jimenez claimed that Riley had said, "Shoot me! Shoot me! You guys ain't got the b----!"

Jimenez pulled a .40-caliber Taurus handgun from his waistband and shot Riley once in the neck, police said.

Yikes. As someone who talks more shit than is safe or reasonable during pong, this is a bit troubling. Read all about this jackass here. I bet he insisted upon multiple racks and had is hand well over the line during each throw.

(Insert Doggy Style Pun)

Aside from the ridicule-induced tears I usually receive after using the urinal, it's not often that I find myself with salty drops streaming down my face whilst at work. This video, however, caused just that to occur.

The simple pleasures in life... Enjoy.

Most excellent

More swine flu tips

I would advise against doing the following:




















To say nothing of below:






















Courtesy of TLyttle, who is never short on animal picture forwards.