I'll take the Crab Juice.

Sirs,

I know that I stated Blame a Woman would be a weekly installment, but I wanted to share this one and didn't care to wait until Monday.

If you like that sort of thing, going to a bar or similar drinking establishment is a great way to hang out with friends and generally have a good time. That is until somebody decides that they would like to purchase a round of Miller Lites. 9/10 scientists agree that this mass-produced American garbage is little better than sharting your pants in public and much, much worse than washing your genitals with a soap tainted with herpes.

If you are an unfortunate soul and are unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of such a terrible gift, please do one thing for me. I would like you to find the nearest woman in the bar, (this works best if she bought you the beer) and blame her for Miller Lite. Vehemently. You can pour the contents on her head, or if you are brave/stupid, take a swig and shower her with vile nectar. This is a legitimate reaction, and well-deserved, if I say so myself. Because if you have ever taken a brewing science course like I haven't, you would know that Miller Lite is made for women, by women. Shame on you womankind, I blame thee.

See official example of brewing process below.