Opportunity Squandered

Mere moments ago, as I entered the facilities on the floor to relieve myself, I wasted one of the great chances in recent memory to eff with a coworker.

You see, the urinals in this particular bathroom are adjacent to the stalls. There was a gentleman in the stall closet to my favorite urinal, pants around ankles, presumably feeling the after effects of yet another sub-par attempt at TexMex from his trophy housewife (she had all day to come up with something, and she chose tacos?! I mean really). In any event, with his pants resting comfortably against the tile, so too was his ID badge - fully displaying his name.

Mind you, I had no clue who Michael J. Coworker was previously. But I did at that point.

What should have transpired:

Me, whilst relieving myself: (sniffs briefly followed by a long, full-body inhalation) Michael, is that you?! I know that smell anywhere!
MJC: (sweats, panics)

What actually went down:

Me: (pee, leave)
MJC: (checking work email on the can)

I suck.