Swine flu in relation to B Harris

This post will serve as a public service announcement of sorts. Listed below are some of the common symptoms of the Swine Flu. Coincidentally, they are very similar to the symptoms found before, during and after a night cap with one B Harris. Let's look at some of the similarities.

According to the CDC, symptoms of swine flu infections can include:

* fever, which is usually high
(while I can not vouch for fever, I would imagine the victim of said night cap certainly must have been high. Crack or Meth I would suppose are the likely culprits.)

* cough
(While you probably won't have an incessant nagging cough, I am sure a cough, scoff or giggle would escape right after B Harris takes of his Capri pants or cargo shorts.)

* runny nose or stuffy nose
(I would be wary of contracting a runny or stuffy nose after copulation because a runny nose will be present post-coitus, most likely accompanied by tears and whimpering.)

* sore throat
(A result stemming from the fact that you will have to console him for hours. Your voice will be hoarse.)

* body aches
(an aching or yearning for a real lover; or possibly the dull pang of regret)

* headache
(Positively Alcohol-related. Severity of headache will be consistent with the amount you had to drink to get you into the situation in the first place.)

* chills
(These will occur when you wake up in the morning to find B Harris sleeping in his custom-made Dark Knight jammies.)

* fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme
(This will occur because he tends to like to stay up and be inside spoon for hours on end after intercourse.)

* diarrhea and vomiting (sometimes)
(Not always present with cases of the swine flu. Conversely, always present with cases of post-B Harris relations.)

So, as you can see, there is an uncanny resemblance between the two. If you are having symptoms such as the ones listed above, I would try to remember if you made any particularly poor choices over the past week or so. If not, you are in luck, because you probably just have the swine flu.

1 comment:

  1. I am not in any position to confirm or disconfirm these allegations.