Ahh. Opening Day.

I am not even going to pretend that most of you would ever care about Opening Day, or baseball in general. But today that is what you are going to get because it is one of the best days all year long, significantly better than many holidays, especially Halloween. It marks the beginning of a sixth month span that is my favorite time of the year. I don't need to remark any further, but I figured I would make some projections for certain things...

AL East - Best division in baseball, bar none. The Yanks, Red Sox and Rays all have legitimate shots at making it to and winning the fall classic. I don't think it will be the yanks, because they are aging and I think, in fact, God hates them. Between the Rays and Sox, it really is a crap shoot, but I think the Rays might do it again. I'll be rooting for the O's though, which is a sad, sad thing.

AL Central - Bunch of teams that are right around each other in terms of talent. I don't think the Twins or the Tigers have to staffs to get them there down the stretch and the Royals have no chance. It is hard to choose between the Indians and ChiSox. Let's say Indians.

AL West - Shaping up to be a pretty poor division this year. Rangers have great hitting, zero pitching. Mariners could have a couple dominant pitchers, but not much hitting. Angels won't have Lackey or Santana for awhile, which could hurt them. Dallas Braden gets the opening nod for the A's. Need I say more? Angels by default.

NL East - Mets shored up their bullpen. The defending champs replaced Pat Burrell with Raul Ibanez, so they still have shitty defense in left. The Braves improved greatly by signing D Lowe (looked good last night) and Vazquez (perennially underrated) I think they'll have a chance to contend. Marlins probably won't contend even though they have Hanley Ramirez and a good 1-2 punch in Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson. The Nats might be the worst team in baseball again this year. I think the Mets might be able to pull it out with their improved bullpen, and I am not talking about K-Rod, although he does help. Thanks.

NL Central - Brewers, Cubs or Cardinals. The other teams just don't have the team to do it. Brew-Crew lose Sabathia, so I don't think they're in. Cardinals will compete, especially if Carpenter is as healthy as he looked this spring. Cubbies, well, they have a good team all the way around. Gotta go with them, especially if Harden stays healthy.

NL West - Worst division in baseball? I'd say so. Colorado has no pitching. San Diego has no offense. I have to say I like the way that Giants rotation is shaping up. Lincecum is lights out, hands down the most nasty pitcher in the game. I would kiss him in special places. With Randy, Matt Cain, and Sanchez behind him, they are looking mighty talented. Just make Zito the most expensive lefty specialist in the game, please. He does not deserve a rotation spot. The Dodgers are good, but I am going to pick Arizona for this division. That 1-2 punch of Webb and Haren is hard to beat in all of baseball.

World Series - Cubbies v Rays.

Cubbies finally taking it home. First time since 1908. 101 years.

NL MVP - Can't pick anyone other than Pujols. Hands down best hitter in the game. Great with the glove too.

AL MVP - Carlos Quentin - Looked headed for the honor before he got injured. Instead, stupid Dusty P finagled his way into it. If Quentin can stay healthy, I think it is his to lose.

NL CY - Santana seems to be losing some of those great peripherals and Lincecum is on the rise, but I think this might be the year that Brandon Webb takes it home.

AL CY - Most would say Sabathia, but we'll see how he does in the AL against some elite talent. Cliff Lee certainly won't repeat. King Felix (as much as I hate to admit it) has all the talent in the world, but can he put it all together? I think so. I think this will be his first of many Cy Youngs, even playing for the lowly Mariners. I watched him in the WBC and he should be untouchable every time out.

NL ROY - Hard to argue against that performance last night of Braves Rookie Jordan Schafer. Let's go with him.

AL ROY - OOOH, Wieters and Price, Wieters and Price. They get all the attention, but the fact is, they are starting the year in Triple A. I will go with Toronto OF, Travis Snider, who actually has a full time gig coming out of spring and can mash.

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Well, that is all I will do for the day, I know most of you won't appreciate it in the slightest. But you can deal with it, because Opening day is the shit. and I'm knee deep in it.