Top Five Worst Places to Pick Up a Broad

A lot of bad can come from picking up random mates in less than reputable places. You really can not have any idea of what you are in for. So, for those of you in the practice of doing such things, I thought I would give you some helpful hints about some sites you should avoid.

5. Bar/Club: "But I often pick up lady friends at my local drinking establishment," you say, astonished. Yeah, this is the best of the bunch, but that doesn't mean it is a safe or sound idea. Firstly, don't sh*t where you eat. Most likely you will want to frequent said establishment again and those awkward hellos or even better awkward avoidances are big buzz killers. Secondly, the type of rando who would perform fellatio and other crimes against nature with you after meeting for the first time at a bar, is probably (said with a hint of cadence) not the type of female you want to be naked with and touching in the first place. They also might get the wrong impression and want to do it again, or even date you. Ludicrous, I know.

4. Health Clinic: She may be good looking in that eerie glow of the waiting room, but chances are that she is not just there for a check up or a tummy ache. Be wary. At least she is cognizant enough to recognize something is wrong, and responsible enough to do something about it. For that, we can applaud her, but you should hesitate to plow her. I will have to get confirmation from B Harris on this, but you should probably give her six to eight weeks or it will be deleterious to your special regions.

3. Strip Club: I really don't mean to offend any of our growing stripper readership, but come on. If you meet a girl at a strip club, stripper or otherwise, it is safe to assume that she is somewhat of a freak. And freaks like to get freaky. And they like to do this frequently. The frequency of cases involving rashes and strippers or girls that frequent strip clubs I would have to imagine is quite high. They might be fun for a crazy night of hot fornication, but the repercussions are sure to be weighty.

2. Street Corner: This really doesn't need any explanation. These girls do it for a living, so to have any sort of a livelihood and to support their numerous drug addictions, they are doing it quite often. Not to mention with the most depraved and wanton men the world can produce. They are sure to make you don a connie, but this doesn't really do anything for you. I would recommend avoiding at all costs, but I know for some of you, that isn't realistic.

1. Cardboard Box: One word...Hygiene. Oral or personal, this broad will most definitely lack both to the utmost degree. Certainly crazy because she loves the crack or the meth, or even crazier because she doesn't like her meds, this type of woman is liable to cut off your private parts and make a necklace or wind chime to hang in her humble abode. I don't really see anything advantageous about this other than the fact that she would be a cheap date. Heck, she would appreciate the change from your pocket.