I get my hair cut at a shop called "Hair We Are". Not kidding.

Whenever I have the opportunity to see B Harris, I like to let him know that his new haircut looks stupid, or that he needs a haircut because he looks stupid. This really shakes a man to his core, because we all know hair can be the window into a person's persona. There are a plethora of ways a guy can wear or style his hair that would solidify his douchebaggery in the eyes of many a beholder. For certain, we here at AU have have been guilty of such gaffs from time to time. More likely than not we even thought they were a good idea, or the cool thing to do at that point in our lives.

I get to feeling quite nostalgic whenever I see someone with a flat top because I had one for the first 15 years of my life. Also, and I am hesitant to admit this, I had a rat tail that a Star Wars fan would be proud of during my childhood. Great idea, thanks mom. When I see someone with big, stupid, curly hair that flops into their eyes and is in general disarray, I automatically think of B Harris and his Richomdnite cohorts of freshman year. I then close my eyes, look down, and slowly shake my head in a disappointed manner. Thank the lord I have never been able to grow sideburns. They are another bad mistake just waiting to happen and I don't particularly care to be admonished with a disapproving head shake.

But judge not lest you be judged. You had mullets and bowl cuts as children. You may have had those stupid lines shaved into the hair right above your ears. You grew your hair out during your pot-smoking days. You shaved your head and drew a Nike swoosh on it using a magic marker (No F*cking Joke. I am looking at you Ken McBenzie and Shrek). Alas, certainly we have all been guilty of the most capital offense at some point during our formative years. Yes, I am talking about slobbing gel in your hair. I know I am culpable and I would imagine most of you are too. But, hey, at least we've learned from our mistakes. Or not...

It has gotten to the point where I can't even think of hair gel without an image of guys like this popping into my head. I am positive that I am not alone in this sentiment. So fellas, it would probably be in your best interest to find some other means of styling your hair. You don't want to be reminiscent of that guido douchebag everybody hates at every function.

(Sweet tiger by the way)

Shrek's response to the post... rudy: It was during the first few months of seventh grade, I was a little shy, and that Nike Swoosh helped me make a lot of friends! I stand behind my decision, and so does Stephon Marbury

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