B Harris and I, on more than 6 occasions, have been accused of practicing gay love together. Gay lovers, soul mates, fancy boys, poofs and a myriad of other things are casually directed towards us when we are together. So, as to not maintain any shred of dignity, we decided to compete in the first-ever Gay-Off, trying to top each other to see who could be more flamboyant. It was a very manly experience. I now have double digit chest hairs and B Harris' sperm modules finally dropped.

Without further ado...

B Harris: I anticipate the monthly arrival of "Gentlemen's Quarterly" with the same fervor of an expectant mother or Cheeze in the queue outside a book signing by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer.

Cheeze: I have often thought long and hard about buying a copy of World of Warcraft at BestBuy, but in the end, decide that I shouldn't because I don't like Mountain Dew and I know that I would become enthralled with the wizardry. And for the record, I started to read the Twilight series, but I couldn't even get through the second book. B Harris wears Head Gear while he sleeps.

B Harris: I have been known to tie and retie my necktie in the morning until it reaches that perfect length I so desire. During said activity, I may or may not be singing to myself or doing funny voices. As for the head gear, I have a prominent overbite and I do what I can to get by. And girls find it sexy to strap on.

Cheeze: I have purchased an Indigo Girls album and have been to a concert. The majority of girls there were fond of strapping things on.

B Harris: "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia remains one of the catchiest songs to ever be written, in my opinion. On 4 separate occasions, I have knowingly purchased shoes that Cheeze already owned. Breach of Man Code? Hardly. Breach of Limp-Wristed Funboy Code? Most certainly.

: I can openly admit to having an online shopping problem and an unhealthy (financially) addiction to jcrew.com. I have my suspicions B Harris often goes invisible on GChat for extended periods of time so he can avoid being bombarded by links to different attire on which I want a second opinion. (Today I dropped too much on the British Millerain Peacoat. B Harris approved.)

B Harris: Dogs and playing with dogs trumps nearly everything else in my life. As a youngster, I wanted desperately to become a veterinarian, but realized that I would at some point have to see dogs hurt and their blood - immediately changed my mind.

Cheeze: My girlfriend recently received a free gift after purchasing some make-up. It contained some sort of facial cream that you put under your eyes to take away the dark circles and such. I stole it from her. I apply it daily.

B Harris: I read TheSuperficial.com, which is a celebrity gossip blog. As I type this, I am eating the exact lunch that you'd find in most 3rd graders napsacks - PB&J. It is what I have 4 days out of five during the week.

Cheeze: I went home for lunch today, which is what I usually do, and counted the shoes I have around my room. There are 25 pairs. I have matching belts for all of my dress shoes, and two matching belts for my golf shoes, which happen to be the most expensive pair I own. Oh, that makes 26.

B Harris: I have no less than 50+ songs by Dashboard Confessional on my iPod and have seen him live. The other night, I viewed the French film, Amelie, by my lonesome. And I loved it.

: I can top that. I have on separate occasions watched Definitely Maybe, John Tucker Must Die and Love Actually by myself and only thought twice about it for a second.

B Harris
: And finally, the coup de grace - I frequent a private, invite-only online boutique store called RueLaLa. I have made several purchases from this site, despite having that less than manly phrase written all over the shipping boxes. I sent an invite to Cheeze. He accepted.

Cheeze: I am going to get B Harris a subscription to PlayGirl just for being a good friend.

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