Down the Hatch.

The authors of this P.O.S. have a friend, for reasons of anonymity let's call him Mr. Ken McBenzie, that is a well of hidden talent. He can and will, amongst other things, pick up girls that aren't permitted to ride all the rollercoasters; "borrow" your favorite shirt more deftly than a gypsy thief; drunkenly sway like the tallest of trees; and yell nonsensical gibberish at any time of the day, for no reason whatsoever.

His greatest talent of all, however, stems from the fact that he can open his throat wider than Dwight Howard's baby momma. Ken can drink a pint of beer faster than any other person, man or woman, that I have encountered in all my years here on earth. Frankly, it is a privilege to watch. When we were roommates during college, we would go out to parties, and the Ezra, Ira, or Bryan (pick one, they all convey the same idea) in me would become his manager, his bookie. I would find people to bet against him in a chugging contest, and we would reap the benefits. More often than not, lunch on Saturday or Sunday afternoon was free. Paid for by some sad sap that was made to look like a little girl (In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.) in front of countless onlookers. I have never seen him lose.

For all you naysayers and nonbelievers, here is the proof.

Prepare to be impressed, disgusted, shocked, awed, envious, etc...

Ben- the most amazing beer chugger EVER!



Have a good Monday.


(On a side note, there is a quote from a television show in this post. The first person who posts a comment with the quote and the show that it is from gets an ersatz congratulations.)