Use your Loaf!

I believe Americans have become exponentially stupider since the rise of text and instant messaging. One glaring piece of evidence in support of this claim is the proliferation of commonplace terms like Supposably, Irregardless, LOL, OMG!, Totally, Definatly, Rediculous, "like" and….. now I am heated and shaking my head in disgust at all you troglodytes. How can we have fallen to such a point where this type of language is acceptable. Why can't we be like the British and use Cockney Rhyming Slang instead?

All of you, with a more moronic disposition, might be struggling to think to yourselves, "I don't get it…What is he talking about?" Well, here is a definition.

Rhyming Slang is when you take "an expression which rhymes with a word and then using that expression instead of the word. For example the word "look" rhymes with "butcher's hook". In many cases the rhyming word is omitted - so you won't find too many Londoners having a "bucher's hook" at this site, but you might find a few having a "butcher's". (Courtesy of http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk)

It is a much better use of the language than the aforementioned words popularized by girls and sodomites everywhere.

I entreat you to try to utilize cockney rhyming slang at least once a day. It does not matter if the recipient has no idea what you are talking about; sometimes it might even work out better.

Example 1 (using Cockney Rhyming Slang):

Me: Hey Steve, how was the rest of your night? You know, your girlfriend was being a real berk.

Steve: It was good man, thanks. What's a berk?

Me: You'll see...

Example 2 (regular old English):

Me: Hey Steve, how was the rest of your night? You know, your girlfriend was being a real c*nt.

Steve: (Fisticuffs)

*Note* (Berk = Berkshire Hunt = c*nt)

As you can see, it is a clever way to get your point across without being explicit. Try it out. I highly recommend it.

Go to this site to educate yourself.