Point, Counter Point - Terrible Movies

Cheeze: Shoot em Up. Paul Giamatti doesn't do it for me as a hit man. I didn't make it through ten minutes of this movie. After Clive Owen delivered a baby in the midst of a gun fight, and then severed the umbilical cord by shooting it, I did not think it could get much worse. I turned it off. Indiana Jones - Crystal Skull. It was not like this movie was unbearable by any means. It was so-so, with a terrible ending. It is the comparison to the other Indiana Jones' that makes this movie one of the worst.

B Harris: It's funny because I have only seen bits and pieces of Shoot em Up. Granted, it was sufficient viewing to appall, but not enough to pass judgment on the whole. As for Crystal Skull, yes, it was stupid. In fact, it was downright shameful, especially since us fans of the series were forced to wait 19 years for the next installment. Whatever, George Lucas still sleeps on a pile of money with many beautiful women.
But honestly, what is any rubbish movie discussion without your boy, Vin Diesel? I think the leader in the clubhouse for abomination of film is xXx. Anytime your main character's name is Xander Cage, the panties just come flying off. His performance in this movie makes Daniel Day Lewis look like Chris Tucker.

Cheeze: Well, Vin Diesel is just terrible. Who would ever cast him in a movie like The Pacifier? I don't think there was a Jewish man behind the scenes of that movie, he would have known better. In relation to day care in movies, I thought about Mrs. Doubtfire. Robin Williams was tolerable in that movie. Along with Good Will Hunting and Hook, it is about the only thing that I can stomach him in. Take Toys for example, a 1992 film that I don't think I even enjoyed at the tender age of 9. Terrible premise, terrible movie.

Why does Hollywood feel the need to keep making movies about men taking care of young children?

B Harris: Robin Williams is just tad subtle for my taste. Speaking of Daddy Day Care, has there been a more staggering career path than that of Eddie Murphy? He went from an utterly hilarious and foul-mouthed young comic in Delirious and Raw, to the voice of a donkey in arguably the most successful animated, G-rated franchise in movie history.

I think a good rule of thumb when whether or not to watch a movie is as follows: if you can picture substituting Brendon Fraser for the main character, and the integrity of the film would remain intact, then the movie probably sucks.

(Acceptable alternatives: Paulie Shore, Rob Schneider, Jamie Kennedy, or the Wayans Brothers)

Cheeze: Another good rule of thumb is if it has bows and arrows, muskets, swords, dragons, horses, magic wands, and/or Gandalf, it is a good movie.

1 comment:

  1. Hi guys. I know this is going to sound like spam, but please hear me out. You have won a prestigious award (the now esteemed Golden Umbrella) for the content of your blog. Seriously, it may be the most prestigious award on the planet. You can see the conditions of acceptance at http://umbrella24.blogspot.com/. Feel free to post the image of the award on your site to boast and let everyone know that you're better than they are.