Snakes on a Neck

That's quite enough, Jane Seymour.

Yes, you are kind of hot for being almost 58 years of age. Yes, you were decent enough as the under-sexed trophy wife of Chris Walken in
Wedding Crashers. Almost hot enough to make me forget about the 150 episodes and 2 television movies worth of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

But you've gone too far. My brain is being inundated with Kay Jewelers commercials pawning your "Open Hearts" line of trinkets. You thought you'd earn some extra coin by designing some low-end trinkets? I say good for you. Unfortunately, it's probably the stupidest looking nonsense I've ever seen. If I'm honest, it looks like something I've seen before...

See any resemblance?

The top photo is taken from the Kay's advert - the signature piece in the Open Hearts line. The bottom is the pendant that accompanied the Magic: The Gathering Lifetime Achievement Award Cheeze presented to himself in front of a sparse crowd in his mother's basement a few weeks back.

My message to you, Missus Seymour - stop designing adornments and stick with maintaining your rather confusing level of attractiveness.

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