Hey, it's that guy that no one likes!

If you're anything like Cheeze (that is to say fond of dragons, large women, and JNCOs; and averse to the basic tenets of general hygiene, hitting a golf ball further than 85 yards, and wearing sandals without socks) then you probably have a hard time meeting the right person.

Whether you are too shy or just haven't brushed your teeth in a week, striking up a conversation or simply getting noticed, for that matter, is a problem in and of itself. Afraid she'll be turned off by what appears to be a mini Tootsie Roll behind your fly? Relax, Cheeze - your days of horrendous water-cooler faux pas are surely over. Just think how she'll react when she sees you walking into your place of employment surrounded by hordes of fake paparazzi!

For a price as low as $729.99, your average Z-lister — yes, that means you and me — can experience what it’s like to be the subject of a media melee. Companies such as Celeb 4 a Day can turn the average Joe into Joe Jonas, as a pack of people with cameras follow the paying customer for at least 30 minutes, leaving surrounding onlookers wondering: Who is that star?

That’s what a few people were wondering in a trendy neighborhood in downtown Manhattan recently as I got the Celeb 4 a Day treatment. You might ask — why would anyone pay to be hounded by cameras?

Read all about it here.

What kind of terrible society is this that the above companies exist, and Cheeze hasn't made it past 2nd base in 8 years? (of course, that's the literal 2nd base in his PC baseball simulator - the pitching is so real! As for the touching of boobs in life? Scoff).

Link courtesy of TLyttle, Cheeze's looks courtesy of mating gone wrong

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