A Proud Father

Congratulations, reader. For the first time in our storied history, the poll results concur with my voting. I know for a fact that Cheeze voted the other way, namely because he is constantly sending me links to the hottest new beach-themed apparel that Hollister has to offer, presumably seeking my approval. Not only that, but his life partner, Reginald, is horribly averse to lacrimation.

Give me tears. I'll gladly shed them in lieu of entering this ridiculous place.