Spring Collection, Part 1

If you purchase one badass, tough motherf*cking article of clothing this spring, that is guaranteed to get you laid, let it be a pair of these:

"Simple and durable, these stonewashed seven-pocket cargo shorts are made from a lightweight denim that is perfect for spring."

Known in some circles as the "Gravity Accelerators," for the speed with which women's undergarments are dropped when brought in direct contact with these shorts, they are a must-have.

Honest to God, I have yet to not get laid whilst wearing these babies, whether it be at the locale watering hole, the gym, Subway, Blockbuster, etc. The list literally goes on and on.
Oh yeah, there was that 3-way at the NASCAR race as well.

And for those with the means and testicular fortitude, might I suggest splurging on the matching visor seen below.

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