Spring Collection, Part 3

When I think of Reebok Pumps, three things come to mind; Fifth Grade, Awesome and About to get laid because of my shoes. For these reasons and because you can pump up your shoes for snugness and then deflate for comfortableness, I recommend that each and every one of you purchase a pair of sweet Reebok Pumps this spring. You will most likely be able to dunk (mind the shoes) immediately after lacing up and girls will automatically fall prostrate when they see you strutting in your badass new kicks.

You can find them at any Famous Footwear circa 1992 or online.

Also available (for those of you really feeling the recession) are the cheaper, yet no less colorful, LA Gear Pumps.

My mother, not understanding how important these things were in elementary school, did not get me the Reebok Pumps. I was stuck with the LA gear. I am still bitter.

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