I'll have another please. Yes, keep them coming.

Life is hard, we know this. Granted, it is harder for some than it is for others but, there are certain things that will always be challenging for the vast majority of the world's population. Quantum Physics is most likely difficult to understand. Very few people would ever be able to hit a baseball pitched by a Major League pitcher. No one I know of could write to the level of Shakespeare. And I don't think anybody can understand the pikey language. It would impress most people if you could do just one of these things. All of that sh*t is tough. But come on people, we all know that the hardest thing to do is put up with a woman.

Even in regular ol' daily life dealing with women is taxing, but when you get to the bar or similar drinking establishment, the pleasure of their company becomes at least ten-fold more unbearable. You have to pretend to think the conversation is stimulating. You have to not watch the game. You have to laugh at rotten jokes. You have to not look at their or other chestal areas. You can't play pool with your buddies. So, to deal with all this flotsam and jetsam, we are forced to drink. Copious amounts. "I certainly don't need a shot, but then again bring me a double of the strongest thing you've got." We swallow pints in order to stomach the rest. Alas, as is often the case when you drink more than the Irish at a wake, drunkenness ensues. This is not a problem in and of itself, but if nature has any say in the matter, it can lead to something very dreaded. Are you familiar with the term "whiskey dick?" Yes, I am talking about that.

So, as the astute reader might assume, it follows logically that men are not at fault for this hapless occurrence. It is women I say. They drove us to drink in the first place. So please, don't harbor those feelings of inadequacy any longer. Put that blame in its proper place; Blame a woman. Say things like "Good gracious, if you didn't talk so much at the bar this wouldn't be happening." Or, "I would imagine it is afraid you might chastise it for accidentally looking at that great rack earlier." I think "It became comatose during your terrible stories" would also work. Either way, don't worry about a thing. Perhaps you should have her make you a sandwich and/or sleep at the foot of the bed.